I’m glad I saw…

I didn’t have a weight problem growing up. 

I wasn’t heavy as a teenager. 

When I had three kids, I wrote in a journal that I cried because I had reached the hefty weight of 140 pounds. 

I didn’t see a difference in anyone overweight so I never knew one existed.

There were a couple of people in my life… beautiful, intelligent, shining people who were sometimes hurt when they were treated like they were invisible. They were over weight and worn down by trials and tribulations. These strong souls were overlooked or looked down on until their self images were scratched until they silently bled. 

When they tried to tell people… not many agreed and I don’t recall even one understanding. It seemed they were feeling sorry for themselves and that it really didn’t happen. 

Even though I wasn’t one of those who felt it was the latter … I did not understand. I did not get it. I did not see. 

I didn’t see until the slights and differences happened to me. I literally went from being noticed, accepted and appreciated for my smile, my love to communicate and connect to someone who became invisible. It doesn’t help that when you gain a certain amount of weight, clothing choices become so limited and ridiculous that some just wear what they can until they lose enough to fit in something nicer. Anyway, since gaining weight and my looks being completely different… I have met the same people two and three times and had them have NO idea we previously met for every one of them. 

I’m not thrilled with the observations I’ve made but I’m glad I saw… for myself and with my own eyes and felt in my own heart what if feels like. I, by the grace of God and because it is a dream I believe He poured in me… will get healthy and lose weight and shed more than the many pounds I have to lose. I believe that with every single ounce of my being. I will not do this for those who looked me at me from my head to my feet as less than them and I will not do it because of the countless other things I’ve experienced by others … who don’t see it now but may one day.

I will reach that brighter place and I will pray to make sure I am aware of the hearts around me no matter what color, kind of skin they wrap around or how much the scale says they weigh. I choose today to start looking for the beauty within the skin. 

After all, the pearl in the shell is where the value is..

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